Paris For President

You didn't think we could just let this go did you?

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

T: I would like to point out that this is probably the best thing Paris has ever said or done.
R: Best line of the year? "See you at the debate, bitches!"
T: Painting the White House Pink is the best idea I have heard in the campaigns yet!

Paris, you have our votes!

Holler at your boy

Who's not going to make a Reality TV name for themselves this week?

America's Best Dance Crew
T: As most of you know, I don't watch this show. I am going to stick with Fanny Pak - it is a stupid accessory and even more stupid dance name! Why not name themselves the Jorts (jean shorts for those of you not in the know) or the Mullets. How about Socks and Sandals! From now one, my dance crew name is Socks and Sandals.
R: Since I do watch this show and I do know that next week is 80's week that means Fanny Pak better bring it! I believe if they don't match the judges expectations they'll be gone. And since last week was their best week ever, I say Fanny Pak is out of here!

Flipping Out
T: I predict a total meltdown. With only 2 minions to yell at, and 1 ex/biz partner who has started to realize he has an opinion and spine, I bet Jeff Lewis just completely looses it. I can't wait!!
R: I do believe this will be the episode that makes Jeff certifiably insane. Then Jenni will work for Ryan and they'll be bitter exes and business partners. Or Jeff will just scream for no reason because someone didn't bring him guacamole.

Project Runway
T: I want to say fake little tan boy will be leaving, but then I'm afraid we may never hear Tim Gun say "Holler at your boy" ever again. So I am going to say little mousy girl who should have been kicked off last week.
R: Blayne has turned crazy and if I hear "licious"-anything, I'm going to shoot him through the TV. I want Blayne gone, but I think it'll be Terri, because she hasn't been featured until last week and almost won so this week she'll bomb and be outta here!

Shear Genius
T: I think it would be funny if the gossiping fat gay guy got kicked off. It is much more dramatic when one of the favorites leaves early.
R: While Charlie is losing steam, I need Nekisa to leave before I want to shave my head bald. Seriously, she's horrible!

Date My Ex
T: I think Jo will try to sing one of her new songs on a date and the guy will have act like she's good so he thinks he has a chance to get into bed with her!
R: My prediction, Jo does Slade before the end of the series and that's the surprise ending.

Have a show you want us to predict? Let us know!

Brangelina

Trixie and Roxie discuss the Brangelina Twins...

T: So how jipped do you think People feels about the Brangelina baby pictures?
R: I haven't seen them. What?
T: They paid $14 mil for pics and the cover barely even shows their faces; one you can only see the top of their head! And to boot! They can't even call them Brangelina anymore. That is their official name!
R: For $14 mil there better be baby behinds splashed on that page!

Question from the Audience

Will Jo and Slade make it? Or will the show cancel bc they completely stop talking? - Anonymous

T: Great question! Let's recap for our viewers who don’t know who Jo and Slade are. Jo and Slade originally appeared on Real Housewives of Orange County – a great piece of Reality TV in its own right. Slade is a rich, kinda slimy controlling fiancé, and Jo was his kept fiancé, who then decided she wanted to continue her single/partying ways. While sometimes uncomfortable to watch, it made for great TV! They broke up, and now have their own spinoff show. So now Slade is pimping out Jo – and I am not sure they aren’t hooking up on the side too.

R: Let's be honest, Jo is trying to get an album deal - therefore she's sleeping with anyone who is willing to produce her album and I believe Slade is top producer. Will their show get canceled? Nah, it'll run through its season. The real question, will it get picked up for a second season? My prediction - Jo gets her own Reality TV show of her trying to make it as an artist and Slade will end up dating a D list celebrity to get some news buzzing around him.

T: The basis of the show is their dysfunctional relationship. The more dysfunctional, the more air time they get. So will Jo and Slade the couple make it? Absolutely not. They get off on being mad at each other and then making up – always have. But will the show get cancelled because of it? Absolutely not! That is the whole show! Knowing their luck and talent at spinning their situations, they’ll probably get a 3rd show from it! Genius!

Weekly Predictions

Who's not going to make a Reality TV name for themselves this week?

America's Best Dance Crew:
R: Fanny Pak - the 80's crew who just didn't get last week's prop challenge
T: I am gonna say Fanny Pak, and rightfully so. What a stupid name for a dance crew.

Flipping Out
R: Can you believe someone quits?! Thank god! I think it'll be the new guy Chris. He's seemed pretty freaked out by the nanny cam and not having Jeff's support.
T: I think Jenny quits. A failed marriage to a loser, an asshole boss...Jenny, listen to me. Get out while you still can!

Project Runway
R: This is hard since it's so early in the season, but I think Stella, mainly because her voice annoys me.
T: It's too early in the season for me to remember who anyone is. I am going to say the New Jersey man/lady who just wants to use leather.

Shear Genius
R: Nekisa - she been scrapping by and having a faux lesbian relationship. Time to go!
T: I think it will be Paulo who won last week. He was in the bottom the whole time, finally won (with no immunity), and now he is outta there!

Have a show you want us to predict? Let us know!

Question from the Audience

Is Lauren Conrad a best frenemy or just a best friend hopper? - S. Smith

T: Thanks for the question, S. Smith. We actually get asked this a lot, so lets address this now. A frenemy is someone who is a friend and then turns into an enemy. A best friend hopper has a new best friend every other time you see them, or in the case of Reality TV, every season. Personally, I think LC is both. She is an amazing frenemy – no matter what the other person does or doesn’t do, LC also comes out smelling like roses. Lets be honest, b**ch can hold a grudge. Don’t even get me started on her best friends! Stephen, Lo, Heidi, Audrina, Brody – whoever will stick up for her against her newest frenemy is her BFF.
Both – LC is both.

R: Isn't the bigger question, how can Heidi Montag be selling more clothes than LC? How do either of them have a clothing line? I have to hand it to LC she is one of my Reality TV inspiration. And to answer the original question - best frenemy and best friend hopper.

Roxie and Trixie Interview a Guy Who Knows 2 People On Reality TV Shows

T: We recently discovered that a friend of ours knows not one, but 2 Reality TV stars.

R: AND they aren't us. Also, we use the term "stars" loosely.

T: Hey! They were on Reality TV - thus stars. Don't judge! Don't be a Debbie Downer to our 1st guest!

R: Point taken. I stand corrected.



So, Guy Who Knows 2 People on Reality TV Shows (GWK2PORTS), how privileged do you feel to know not one, but 2 people on Reality TV? Would you say Very or Extremely?

I'd say very?

R: how come its not extremely

I knew them before they were stars. Plus I have seen both of them extremely intoxicated... so



How has it changed your life to know 2 people who have been on Reality TV?

Greatly - I realized that people can get lucky without any talent whatsoever... That's really changed my life

R: So it's motivated you?

Clearly...



How have they changed since being on Reality TV?

They don't live in AR anymore. They have their own websites. (GWK2Ports offers to give us an exclusive link to their web sites)

They are rich, but they were both rich before. But they are definitely both more rich now...



Do you consider them Reality TV actors, real actors, or real people? How do they see themselves?

Um... I would consider Jeff a real actor and Rossi a real person... I think they see themselves the exact same way.



T: So, tell us, exactly what work have your friends done that our fans would recognize?

Rossi was on Temptation Island and Blind Date and the host of several shows like Junkyard yards and Movie and a Makeover.



Jeff Pride was on Blind Date, Passions, and commercials (Kia, Long John Silvers, Michelob).



They most definitely got their acting work based off of their roles on Reality TV.



R: Thanks for joining us this morning. We know it is very early where you are.



T: There you have it folks, real people and real actors who are now rich living in LA... all because of Reality TV. What an inspiration!